Kerrang! Magazine 13/02/13

Is it me or does kerrang! include a poster of frank iero every valentines day? Better not be the one with the puppy again.

So glad there's an Ashley Purdy poster, I met him a few days ago in Glasgow and he's absolutely lovely! The live reviews should be interesting Chiodos were the best support band but Black Veil Brides were the best of the night!

I'm so excited for this issue - mainly because it's out on the SAME DAY I'm seeing BVB on the Kerrang! Tour in Sheffield!!!!
@CCSMASH: I bet Ashley was really nice - I wish I could meet all of BVB!

I'm so excited for this issue - mainly because it's out on the SAME DAY I'm seeing BVB on the Kerrang! Tour in Sheffield!!!!
@CCSMASH: I bet Ashley was really nice - I wish I could meet all of BVB!

I'm so excited for this issue - mainly because it's out on the SAME DAY I'm seeing BVB on the Kerrang! Tour in Sheffield!!!!
@CCSMASH: I bet Ashley was really nice - I wish I could meet all of BVB!

How can I buy the new magazine issues with All Time Low if I live in the States?

How can I buy the new magazine issues with All Time Low if I live in the States?

Absolutely capital to have a Max Helyer poster for a Valentine special. It's absolutely preposterous that there are no posters of Josh, Matt, Chris and Dan though. It's supposed to be an issue based on love so why would anyone thus consider putting that hairy foul mouthed oaf from Food Fighters in the magazine one does not know? The same rings true of the hairy man from Mastaton and that Nicky Six. In the case of the latter though at least he had the common sense to steal his surname from the eternal heart pounders, You Me At Six, He is inspired by them as indeed others are. One cannot wait to place Max's poster upon ones bedroom wall!

Lexie, One would say that you are an utter twat.
Also, your spelling is hatchet!

@Dot
What a ghastly statement! And one seeped in complete hogwash. My spelling is most correct, thank you very much.
You need to learn some manners and some decorum befitting of a lady. I wager your fingers have never firmly gripped a stiff oar whilst punting on the Cam.

@Lexie "why would anyone thus consider" Please stop trying to sound sophisticated and look up the proper use of "thus". Also, Nikki Sixx, i believe his name is, existed way before YMAS. I do like YMAS but this fangirl view based solely on appearance make me question if you even appreciate the music.

@Lexie "why would anyone thus consider" Please stop trying to sound sophisticated, "thus" doesn't work in that sentence. Also, Nikki Sixx, i believe his name is, existed way before YMAS. I do like YMAS but this fangirl view based solely on appearance make me question if you even appreciate the music.

@Lexie "why would anyone thus consider" Please stop trying to sound sophisticated, "thus" doesn't work in that sentence. Also, Nikki Sixx, i believe his name is, existed way before YMAS. I do like YMAS but this fangirl view based solely on appearance make me question if you even appreciate the music.

I am pretty sure that you spelled both 'Mastodon' and 'Nikki Sixx' incorrectly, and last time i looked the 'Foo Fighters' were not using food as ammunition. I beseech you to do some research before you make such outlandish statements. I bid thee a good day.

That last comment was directed at Lexie by the way.

@ Dot and @Milly
Tis a rare occurrence indeed to have two trollops of a lower social standing speaking such balderdash. I was grammar school educated and hence my understanding that the most simple of words, six, has one x as opposed to two. One thoroughly enjoys the music on off from the darlings that are You Me At Six. They happen to be good looking as well which serves as a bonus. I wager neither of you have savoured the exquisite salty taste of Almas caviar dribbling down your gullets.

You Me At Six rule the universe. What do you think of that? Hmmmmmm?

haha i agree with you. She sounds so childish speaking like she's someone out of the shake spear age. Haha i wonder if she talks like that to her friends... that is, if she has any :(

Bit of an embarrassment buying Kerrang today as if it were a dirty magazine! The Valentine Special really is a load of bollocks aimed at the early teen market. Couldn't see any other Profesional music magazine stooping so low.

The Josh-ometer thing is as bloody pointless as ever, as is Grohl cats. What does Lexie think of that! Hm? Tell you what darlin', I don't give a shite in a burger bap what you think so fuck the fuck out of here, troll.

Lighten up a bit @Ryan

I know the whole valentines issue is a bit cheesy & there's a themed issue like this every V-Day but look at it this way....

1. There's going to be a variety of bands, even if they're talking about romance.

2. Even though I think the new BVB album is really good, they're not on the cover! Which is a welcome change for once.

3. It'll be slightly amusing to read as opposed to the usual, generic band statements such as "screw the haters", "recording the new album almost split us up" & the classic "Our new album is the best thing we've ever written."

4. It's just a bit of fun more than anything.

Also @Lexie seems to have forgotten to take her sanity pills, spouting archaic English completely out of context does not make you intelligent.

@Master Chief
See your points. Accept your points. Just still happy with my opinion though, no offence. There is more if a variety of bands in there this week, which is of course welcome. When was the last time Queen were featured in Kerrang!?!? I honestly don't think that there is a "Lexie" out there and that someone is having a joke!

Fuck, are you all retardeds? Lexie is a troll.

Here, allow me to educate you through Wikipedia's all-knowing article shit...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet)

Terrible issue.

Seriously wondering where all the people who "only wanted to talk about music" are.

Where you at Hare, Em, and the other surnameless cunts?

Don't be scared, homies.

Fuck me! What's happened to rock'n'roll these days? I used to be a roadie for a semi successful band in the 80s called "Fanny Invaders" and life was about music and shagging hot birds. We'd have no time for all this arguing nonsense with so many babes to bang. Christ , we had Dave "The Rave" Flaps on vocals, BJ Lover and Jock "The Cock" McGhee on guitars, Mack "The Shag" Cummins on base and Freddy The Fat Fuck on drums. Freddy was 35 stone and we needed a forklift truck to get him on stage!! What days! Check out their EP "Fannys are ace so sit on my face" on iTunes. Great rock'n'roll on that disc! Others might want to wander into vinyl shops and check out their 12" ( and believe me that's NO exaggeration for this band !) "My balls are achin' but you're pregnant no fakin' " for some hot sexy riffing.

So stop arguing and indulge in hourly bonking or i'llget Freddy to sit on you!

Dude, still here, never went away like!

Dude, I have two real names, unlike you! The and Messiah is like...so gay dude! Dude, you need to wax that car slower and stay on the 20mg speed limit! Ha ha!!! That's brilliant dude, even if I say so myself!

Boom Boom!

Please! send me screen with Amy Lee from evanescence john_lecompt@mail.ru

Please! send me screen with Amy Lee from evanescence john_lecompt@mail.ru

Lord, one has only been away a day and unfounded and Neanderthal comments of Biblical proportind are circulating about ones good self. One remains unfased and true to ones admiration of the greatest band ever, You Me At Six. One most certainly is not a troll- mayhap you have been reading too much Tolkien again hmmm? Of course, one is under the presumption here that you are actually capable of reading. I wager you had to spend your childhood in the company of a regular au pair as opposed to having joyous romps in the attic with a professional nanny. Cads, bounders and rotter, the lot of you.

@Rocking Gaz

This is how you troll correctly.

Using "gay" as an insult, are you twelve?

You've been absent, I haven't seen your name or terrible catchphrase in the comments section in a while, also, you type the same shit as the retarded Welshman.

Funny you show up as soon as I mention you, you absolute common dandy.

Dude, you are the gayest little doodey out there!

And yeah dude I am twelve....and a bit!

And dude, you have magic powers. You mention my name and I appear. Dude, call me the rabbit to your top hat!

Dude, amazing how you don't appear for a while, Lexie dominates,, and then you try to drop some red herrings by saying she's a troll. Hellooooooo Lexie Mexie Messiah!

Dude, I'll start calling yous dudette from now on because all your alter egos are girls!!!

Dudette, go to the Happy Lover Club tonight and smooch a short man with a dodgy moustache!

Boom boom!

Dude, you are the gayest little doodey out there!

And yeah dude I am twelve....and a bit!

And dude, you have magic powers. You mention my name and I appear. Dude, call me the rabbit to your top hat!

Dude, amazing how you don't appear for a while, Lexie dominates,, and then you try to drop some red herrings by saying she's a troll. Hellooooooo Lexie Mexie Messiah!

Dude, I'll start calling yous dudette from now on because all your alter egos are girls!!!

Dudette, go to the Happy Lover Club tonight and smooch a short man with a dodgy moustache!

Boom boom!

"Dude, Dude, Dude, Dude, Dude, Dude..."

Fucking uneducated commoner, anyone who isn't american using that word deserves to be hanged in the village square, all else are phony wannabe-'Merican poseurs.

I always hate to look at the comments at stuff like this but every single time a new issue comes out, there is always someone fighting over their opinion of kerrang, a band, or something else that no one wants to hear people complain about. What's the point of having a comment section if everyone is just going to fight. Can't we all just get along and enjoy music for a change?

Dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude etc etc!

Dudette, you are SO easy to wind up man!

Yep, you got it dudette, I am American! Alabama, if you must! Must what? Ha ha!

Dudette, I seriously hope you don't work in politics, you'd suck at it!

Like you do with your little moustachioed homosex guy!

Boom boom!

Dude
Dude
Dude
Dude
Dude
Dude
Dude
Dude

People, don't be fooled by The Messiah. He is a troll who gets gratification from the problems / upset he causes. He was banned by Kerrang! for a while because of the offensive nature of his posts. Don't respond to him and don't react to him. He's a total waste of fucking space, time and effort. He had a taste of his own medicine just before Christmas and could not handle it. He does get easily wound up as Alex has said and is not man enought to handle a different point of view. He still holds grudges, which shows how useless he really is. So once again, don't respond to him. He's sick and gets his kicks from seeing the arguments he causes. He also posts under many false names in order to create an illusion of moral support for him. Don't be fooled. He's a total gobshite.

People, don't be fooled by The Messiah. He is a troll who gets gratification from the problems / upset he causes. He was banned by Kerrang! for a while because of the offensive nature of his posts. Don't respond to him and don't react to him. He's a total waste of fucking space, time and effort. He had a taste of his own medicine just before Christmas and could not handle it. He does get easily wound up as Alex has said and is not man enought to handle a different point of view. He still holds grudges, which shows how useless he really is. So once again, don't respond to him. He's sick and gets his kicks from seeing the arguments he causes. He also posts under many false names in order to create an illusion of moral support for him. Don't be fooled. He's a total gobshite.

Easily wound up? Is that why tears come to my eyes every time you morons react in oh-so predictable ways to my outstanding truth-spreading techniques?

I have to laugh at you all, christ, somecunt even started a petition to ban me, now that, is the epitome of butthurt.

I've never been banned, and never will be, no-one can be banned from a website where you don't need to register.

I'll admit to taking the piss, but I have never posted under any name other than The Messiah, believe what you want retardeds.

Oh, and what happened before christmas was an act, more fool you for believing it Mark, you fucking nincompoop.

@The Messiah,
Fuck off, scum.

Dudette....you're still riled man! What a contradictory schmuck you are, dudette! Emphasis on the "dick-tory" part! Ha ha! Dudette I am sooooo gooooooood!

Dudette, there are more holes in that last post that there are in Swiss cheese!

But dudette, you should know a think or two about strange holes, right! How the dwarf Latino with terrible facial hair these days?

Boom boom!

.....wah hey....dudette, even your supposed higher sense of grammer has gone outta the window! You are riled dudette!

Dudette, there are separators used instead of full stops. Dudette, Christmas in a noun , so it is capitalised. Dudette, it's retards, not retardeds. Dudette, who the heck uses "nincompoop" as an insult?

The only poop you're aware of is what's inside the height challenged Freddy Mercury lookalikes ass!

Boom boom, I'm on form tonight!

Boom boom!

*Grammar.

Stay in school, knowledge is power.

@the Messiah
Why are you bringing me into this? I haven't even commented here you fucking shit stirrer. Haha, you're calling someone else a troll? That's a laugh. I thought you'd stopped coming on here bitching at everyone, obviously not. Dude. ;D

@The Messiah,
It's a typo, idiot.

Stay in the real world, that is true knowledge.

@The Messiah,

Dual pathways, one outcome.

Mongs.

I have waited for you cunts to turn up. Funny how I mention you all and you all suddenly come out of the woodwork. Walker,however, needs to get off the bandwagon right away.

Whatever next? Saville, Glitter and Bulger to follow you retardeds? You all seem to be on first name basis with each other. You are all surnameless cunts.

I am supreme here, I am knowledge. I have gotten more laughs from my posts that you spoilt nincompoops ever did.

Don't ever forget that.

Now away, I have bigger fish to fry. And I will be even better because of it.

I don't see what that comment had to do with you, Ben, and you could also have waited a wee while longer then posted your diarrhea under my name, maybe make it a little less obvious, you empty-skulled moob.

*Savile.

I was wondering where you cunts all were, Em, you'd made such a big deal about "only wanting to talk about music" then you vanished.

Funny that, you all seem to appear online at the same time, maybe it's coincidence, maybe it's not, maybe I don't give a shit.

@The Messiah

Never posted a thing, thicko. Stop making things up.

Go out.
Get some fresh air.
Make some friends.

Maybe the retarded Welshman wrote it, the boy who believed a complete stranger on the Internet and ended up phoning a chinese takeaway where the stranger worked.

Maybe it was typed by the one armed-man.

Like I said, I don't really care Ben, I take it as a compliment, people want to be me, and I guess that's something I'll have to deal with.

@The Messiah

But you do care. Otherwise you wouldn't keep going

on and on about the same thing. Grow up. Everyone

has got one over you. They are cleverer than you

and, despite Ryan's idiocity, they are all all making

a fool of you. You are being beaten at your own

game.

That's what you're struggling to deal with.

Mark Hamer posted a lot of home truths.

Dudette, you have a short male lover and an even shorter memory span....

"I'll admit to taking the piss, but I have never posted under any name other than The Messiah, believe what you want retardeds."

What was that conversation with Ryan again, dudette? Oh yeah dudette, it went like this:-

Ryan: I think that The Man Who Ruined Christmad At The Homeless Shelter and The Messiah are one and the same.

The Messiah: took you long enough to figure that one out didn't it? I bet you had help from your mother.

Dudette, this one is from a year and a half ago:-

Rachel: you're a prick who posts offence under different names, aren't you?

The Messiah: it's called misdirection, something you wouldn't have a clue about.

So, dudette, you catch no one out. The only thing you have caught is a dose of herpes from the gaping ass of vertically challenged gaysex homo you spend your evenings with!

Boom boom!

Or, in your case Limey,

Bum bum!

Oh Jeez, dudette. Another spelling error. Can you ever forgive me, honey?

Beaten at my own game?

Incase you didn't know, The Messiah is not my real name, you cunts know nothing about me. I come on here to take the piss out anyone who deserves it between my boring train rides to work and back.

Fool you cunts that actually buy into it.

Oh, and the same can apply to you, you cunts keep on replying to me, meaning that you obviously care.

Find those comments Hare, copy and paste them, show me where I said that.

I know what I said, don't mix my comments with others' now.

Look at the times the comments were posted, as awesome as I am I lack the ability to be in two places and post two comments at the same time.

Fucking dunce.

"Dudette, you have a short male lover and an even shorter memory span...."

Here, Hank's innocent, leave him alone!

:'(

@ The Messiah

There just seems to be a wave of different people who keep posting insults at you then suddenly they disappear then new people arrive. Everything seems to have gone quiet with Ryan and Skye but now we have Alex and Ben here posting a lot. If accusations are being thrown at the legend The Messiah then lets look at these disappearences then new people turning up. Just as suspicious.

Kerrang doing a valentines issue, fuck sake. This so called "rock" magazine once again pandering to the fangirls who only buy kerrang now

Love Boat = the greatest and wisest scotsman ever.

This is true.

It's like they throw shit at me, I outclass them, time and time again, then they come back with different usernames, I wouldn't be surprised if all these cunts were actually figments of Ryan's imagination.

The stupid fucking cunt of a human he is.

Dudette....Love Boat? Is that the best you can do? If he does exist then he's as much a cunt as you dudette.

Dudette, don't know a thing bout where Skye or Ryan are. That's none of my none and I certainly ain't part of no imagination.

But dudette, you are no fucking legend that's for sure. Just a sad fucking loner, dudette. Would not be surprised if you started shooting down my local elementary school.

You need help kiddo.
You sad, deluded motherfucker.
What I shit in the john is more legendary than you, dudette.

Boom boom!

Poop poop!

@ The Messiah

There just seems to be a wave of different people who keep posting insults at you then suddenly they disappear then new people arrive. Everything seems to have gone quiet with Ryan and Skye but now we have Alex and Ben here posting a lot. If accusations are being thrown at the legend The Messiah then lets look at these disappearences then new people turning up. Just as suspicious.

Kerrang doing a valentines issue, fuck sake. This so called "rock" magazine once again pandering to the fangirls who only buy kerrang now

I am unsure as to why that posted twice so far apart.

It's kind of hard to take somebody serious when they keep saying dudette but you carry on with it.

Your consistent with your wise words Messiah and that is far more respectable than throwing shit your way then disappearing.

@The Messiah / Love Boat / Other alter egos

Dudette, Boaty et al....it posted twice so far apart because you are keeping copies of your posts and couldn't remember what was already posted. Oh Jeez, you are as dull as backwater dudette. Dudette, took you 24 mins to realise your error! And dudette....posting as Boaty does not compensate.

Dudette, it also emphasises my point that you're sad and lonely.

And dudette / Boaty....I don't recall disappearing, I'm still here throwing, not so much shit, but a few obvious home truths.

Dudette , Boaty....it's equally as hard to take someone seriously when the are called The Messiah / Love Boat etc especially if its the SAME person trying to have conversations with himself.

Finally, isn't the whole point of your existence based on throwing shit at others? Kinda renders your last sentence non-credible dudette! Ha ha!

Now, have a lovely day with Wank....sorry, Hank!!

Boom boom!

Love Boat speaks the truth, again.

So basically Alex, anyone who isn't a mongoloid and doesn't agree with your pathetic 12 year old insults has to be the same person, right?

You cunts are all the same, "Oh this guy disagrees with me and now there's another guy, they're obviously the same person".

Learn to deal with being wrong.

I fail to see why I'd need any other "persona" when this one gets the fucking job done.

I'm not Ryan, I don't need the support of stupid little scene poseur cunts.

"Now, have a lovely day with Wank....sorry, Hank!!"

Well that was fucking lame, serirusry. I'll give you a wee while to come back with something at least mildly entertaining.

@The Messiah
Dudette.... Respond to this mildly entertaining anecdote...

BOOM BOOM!

@dudette,
Oh maaaaan.....learn to deal with being a Limey prick dudette!

Dudette, do you actually like metal / rock music? If memory serves correct you like HIM....total shit .... Absolute non rock and non metal. End of motherfucking story.

Dudette, you are exactamundo in sayin that Kerrang cater for the teenagers in society. So, dudette, check yous previous admissions and say WHY THE FUCK YOU POSTING AS YOU ME AT SIX FAN LEXIE?

Dudette, seems to me that yous just deal in shit teen music and teen insults. Dudette, Boaty...ah darn...there..I said it....FOAD, AGFYMSLIUTS!!!!
dudette, you is sad and dead.

Boom boom!

*seriously

Well that was fucking lame, serirusry. I'll give you a wee while to come back with something at least mildly entertaining.

Dudette, spot your mistake you correcting douchebag. Better still, dudette, die.

aSAFp

Boom boom!

I laughed at "Posted at 11:00. Posted at 11:13. Posted at 11:17."

Someone's riled.

Some pointers:

I am a prick, yes, a bigger prick than the biggest prick you know, and you shall deal with it.

I don't really give a shit about what you, or any other twelve year old considers to be rock or metal, you're twelve, instantly making your opinion worthless. HIM are excellent, develop taste.

I'm not Lexie or Love Boat, special child, like I said, why would I need another username when this one gets everything done?

*Serirusry = the asian "seriously".

"Dudette, spot your mistake you correcting douchebag. Better still, dudette, die."

Never thought I'd use this pathetic and oh-so retarded acronym, but... LOL.

LOL at you.

I think Call of Duty online's missing a retard.

@The Messiah : COD Doesn't even want him. He'd be the guy who's screaming in your ear like a baby who's shat itself. Anyway, i hope this shitstorm coming your way stops soon, 'cause this is getting fucking ridiculous.

@Alex Hare : Seriously, i think it'd be best for all involved if you just shut up. HIM are brilliant. End of story. Now go back to wanking to posters of the Master chief and let us guys just get on with life.

@The Messiah : COD Doesn't even want him. He'd be the guy who's screaming in your ear like a baby who's shat itself. Anyway, i hope this shitstorm coming your way stops soon, 'cause this is getting fucking ridiculous.

@Alex Hare : Seriously, i think it'd be best for all involved if you just shut up. HIM are brilliant. End of story. Now go back to wanking to posters of the Master chief and let us guys just get on with life.

I love The Messiah