As a musician, though, there wasn’t really much crossover between this and the classical world she inhabited as a member of her orchestra. One was what she played, one was what she listened to.
“Classical music was really where it was at for me,” she says. “I mean, I enjoyed a lot. I enjoyed listening to popular music and heavy music, but I didn't really play it. I was a classical cellist, so I just thought that I would be an orchestral player. And only when I found this guitar I did think to myself, ‘Hey, maybe I've got an opportunity here to try and do something in that world.’”
Really, there was no plan, save for playing around and seeing what happened. Working away in her living room, though, things did begin to take shape. Helped in no small part by her classical training for understanding what to do (“I thought, ‘This is a stringed instrument, cello’s a stringed instrument – how hard can it be?’”), songs formed. Not only that, but a musical personality as well – one she describes as “dark, without a lot of bells and whistles, with a lot of space in it”.
It was into this vessel that Alex put her human voice, and with it, elements of herself. As fitting Forever Blue’s title and minor-key vibe, there’s a lot of looking inward and trying to understand the things within, when they don’t always feel like they’re really part of you.
“Forever Blue is quite self-exploratory, in a way,” she says. “Having various mental health situations over my entire adult life, it’s pretty much me trying to understand it, and to look it in the eye and figure out what the hell is going on sometimes. It’s trying to understand how I and it relate to each other. Sometimes you look at your own mental state, and you kind of think, ‘Who is this person? We're not the same.’”