Today sees Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst turn 48. The poster boy of nu-metal, all round legend and well, proper character, has done a lot in his 48 goes around the sun. Some of it awesome, some of it a bit inappropriate, and some of it down right weird… actually, quite a lot of it weird.
So, while we turn into the skeleton sat on the bench meme waiting for Bizkit’s supposedly-forthcoming sixth album Stampede Of The Disco Elephants, we thought we’d take a look back at Freddy D’s wackiest moments of all time…
WHEN HE TOLD US HE’D RELEASED A NEW ALBUM AND HE HADN’T
Despite it being a good seven years since 2011’s Gold Cobra, we’ve still not had a new release from the rap-rockers. Or have we? In July 2017, in an Instagram Live interview, Fred claimed that Stampede… was already freely available on the internet.
“I already told you guys, the album is online,” he said. “I put it on a year and a half ago. It’s up to you to find it. You know the game Dig Dug? It’s an awesome game from back in the ’80s. Dig Dug. You’re going to have to dig for it mind.”
Now, clearly the album still hasn’t surfaced, so either we’re all really shit at the internet, or Fred was just playing silly buggers. Oh well, least we’ve got the album’s second single – and one of the best Limp Bizkit songs ever written – Ready To Go.
HE STARTED A BLOG ABOUT JUICE FASTING
Ahhh, January, the time of year when we decide we’re fat pieces of shit who hate ourselves. Limp Bizkit frontmen included. In January 2012 Fred started a 60-day juice fast, and he was so very serious about it that he decided to document his health kick via now-deleted Tumblr page Fred60.
First he posted a picture of his juicer, captioned “My new best friend!” then he admitted to cheating with a bag of M&M’s on day three (we’re unsure as to whether he juiced them or not). He eventually packed the whole thing in after two weeks due to not seeing “any significant results”.
“My thoughts are clear and inspired, but I’m discouraged in some ways,” he wrote. “I guess it’s my own personal baggage that’s lugging around behind me. All comes to the forefront on a diet like this. I’m going to dive into a heavy cardio, sit-ups, and weights routine on Monday. I’m sure that’s the next level of fulfilment.”
Fred lost around 80 pounds on the fast – the cost of his juicer.
HE HOSTED A PARTY AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION
The party was to launch Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water in 2000. Tommy Lee was there, as was Brandon Boyd, Debbie Harry, Chino Moreno, Courtney Love and Sisqó. We don’t want to think about what went on, but we can imagine the pool water in the infamous Grotto needed testing for contaminants after. Along with some other things.
Watch the video below to see Fred asking some Playmates “Can I see your body?” while you feel slightly uncomfortable and wonder how this ever made it onto MTV.
HE DATED BRITNEY SPEARS (OR DID HE?)
It really was all about the ‘he says, she says bullshit’ in 2003 when Fred and Britney got it on, something the popstar has never publicly confirmed.
“He’s said some pretty amazing things about me,” a 21-year-old Britney told Glamour magazine at the time. “But, um, I think he leaped in too deep, too quick.”
While Fred commented six years after the fact, “I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her. I look back on it as very interesting [in terms of] how things have been sort of unravelling for her since. [Still] I’m a supporter. I was then, I guess I am now.”
(Insert shrugging girl emoji here)
HE APPLIED FOR A RUSSIAN PASSPORT
In 2015 Fred tried to become a Russian citizen (so he could go live in Crimea for a bit) by writing an ass-kissing letter to Vladimir Putin. In the note he called Vlad “a great guy, with clear moral principles and a nice person”.
Russia were into the idea, but the Ukraine weren’t, and they banned the musician from entering their country for five whole years, for security reasons, of course. And the sale of Limp Bizkit music was subsequently made illegal.
[email protected] of @LimpBizkit says he wants to live in Crimea – welcome! http://t.co/pjGun7BlhY— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) Thu Oct 08 14:50:07 +0000 2015
HE MADE A CAMEO IN THE ZOOLANDER MOVIE
As Ben Stiller’s character Derek Zoolander strides the cat walk at a high-profile fashion show, a voice in his head (fashion bad guy, Jacobim Mugatu, played by Will Ferrell) tells him, “Concentrate Derek… do not be distracted by the beautiful celebrities.”
And one of those celebrities, sat in the front row, cheering Zoolander on, was none other than Fred Durst (rapper Lil Kim and N’Sync’s Lance Bass were there too).
The whole thing was over in less than three seconds, but obviously gave Fred the movie bug, since he went on to direct the award-winning 2007 movie The Education Of Charlie Banks, featuring Jessie Eisenberg.
HE MADE A CAMEO IN HIS OWN, ER, ‘MOVIE’
Probably the less said about Fred’s sex tape – which was leaked in February 2005 – the better, but someone’s had a laugh on IMDB by listing it under his directing credits as ‘Fred Durst Sex Tape (Short) (Uncredited)’.
He clearly didn’t want the world to see his X-rated directorial debut, since he slapped 10 of the mucky websites that posted the video with a rather large lawsuit. 70 million dollars to be exact. Check out the video below…
Only joking. We’re not gonna play Fred like that.
HE MADE A FEATURE FILM ABOUT STALKING
Not weird in itself, but the forthcoming film – which is called Moose – was inspired by Fred’s own life. He described the plot as follows: “A hyper, celebrity-obsessed man-child feels slighted by his favourite movie star at an autograph convention.”
This creepy character, played by John Travolta, then “embarks on an unhinged quest to get a response from the actor – leading to a home invasion and a very long night that changes both men irreparably.”
It’s probably best that nobody asks any further questions about what actually inspired this, and we just watch John Travolta bigging up Fred below…
HE HAD A BARNEY WITH SLIPKNOT
This is how it went: Fred referred to Slipknot fans as “a bunch of fat, ugly kids”, and Slipknot’s Corey Taylor responded by, er, threatening Fred’s life onstage in New York in 1999.
“Fred…” said Corey, “you may have a lot of money and be all over the world, but when you talk shit about Slipknot and our fans… we will kill you.”
When asked about the feud on a TV show, Corey also screamed: “WE WILL COME THERE! AND WE WILL KILL YOU!” through the telly to Fred.
The Limp Bizkit trouble maker lived to tell the tale, and hopefully learned it’s best not to pick fights with nine people when there’s only one of you.
HE PISSED OFF CHRISTINA AGUILERA
Fred’s riled up a few people in his time, and Xtina is one of the most notable. When the pair performed together at the 2000 MTV Music Awards – with a rendition of Livin’ It Up – people were a) not very impressed and b) confused as to why such a collaboration would even occur in the first place.
“I want that girl, that’s that,” said Fred by means of an answer. Unsurprisingly, ‘that girl’ didn’t appreciate such a comment, and later gave MTV a message to pass onto the Limp Bizkit singer.
“You wish you got some nookie from it,” she said. “He got no nookie. That did not happen… it’s some really crazy stuff that people want to insinuate and people want to say and it is hurtful.”
File under: WAYS NOT TO TALK ABOUT WOMEN, FRED.
HE STARTED HOSTING JAZZ NIGHTS
We all went ‘WTF!’ when news reached the wider world that Fred – the man who quite literally named his band after a sperm soaked biscuit – had a new passion project: hosting fancy jazz nights in LA.
Fred funded, staged and hosted the nights, which took place at the Black Rabbit Rose (a club popular with musicians, magicians and burlesque acts), under the name ‘Fred’z with a Z’, and the last one happened as recently as July 12.
How’s that new album coming along again, Fred?
Fred Durst's incredible vision brings us such a Special Treat Tonight! These savants on their instruments will blow you away with their impeccable talent. Fred has once again cultivated an original concept n sound that pushes all Jazz Boundaries. Tonight Fred's " Fred'Z with a Z" presents " The Tyler Hammond Jazz Experience "..... @blackrabbitrose @freddurst @notmychair @antijacobclub @dantheconman @zandertaylorsill @houston_bros @moosemovie @limpbizkit Reservations: [email protected]
HE GOT A BIT TOO INTO STATION WAGONS
What do you do when you want to open a new Instagram account, but you’re sat at home twiddling your thumbs because your band aren’t up to much? Well, if you’re Fred Durst you post a load of pictures of Station Wagons. Like, fuck loads.
The first few photos were simply captioned with days of the week – he really had given up – but then he branched out into writing random things like “It’s late… we shouldn’t” and Nirvana lyrics, ‘Forever in debt to your priceless advice’.
27 photos of Station Wagons can still be viewed on Fred’s Instagram. Y’know, if you’re into that sort of thing.
HE STARTED HIS OWN PODCAST
Fred reached peak ‘weird’ when he launched his podcast, Transparency. In his first recording he sounded half asleep, loudly scratched his beard a lot, and spent 14 minutes, well, rambling.
“Maybe I need this outlet, as I haven’t considered a therapist or another human being to open myself up to…” he slurred. “I figured this iPhone I’m using was close enough to that.”
He then proceeded to tell a story about how he got a free pair of headphones from an Apple store because they mistook him for a teacher, talked about how people always come up to him and ask if he fucked Britney, and shared an anecdote about the time he went to a party with Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt, then got stoned and put them in a headlock and highly embarrassed himself.
“I have a shit load of those situations I’ll be able to get off my shoulders through this outlet,” he said at the end. Sadly, this ended up being another one of a kind.
Just like most of the weird things Fred does. Happy birthday, dude! You do you.
Words: Jennyfer J. ‘Lil Jen’ Walker
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