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Daily Mail Headline Or Metalcore Band Name?

It turns out that Daily Mail headlines make the perfect metalcore band names

For those of you who aren’t aware, the Daily Mail is a UK tabloid newspaper, the frontpage of which is often plastered with riling headlines, primed and ready to cause some kind of emotional reaction amongst its 1million+ readers. That’s a lot of outrage. But did you know, that the majority of these headlines could also be the names of bad metalcore bands? You know the type, the bands that clutter up the early afternoons of one-day festivals, spending way more time on their merch than their music.

To prove our point, we did a little Google image search for “Daily Mail front page” and were met with a deluge of slogans written in block capitals, each more sensational than the last. And do you know what? Every single one could be a bad metalcore band. Even the longer headlines could be album titles!

Don’t believe us? Check out the sick merch we mocked up using Daily Mail headlines.

Apologists
Boris Fever
Enemies Of The People
Death Knell
Crush The Sabs Tee
House Of Un Elected
Three Lethal Qs
Living Beyond
What An Insult To Christians
Whatever Happened

And because we have too much time on our hands, we even mocked up a flyer for MailFest 2019. Boris Fever are headlining, naturally.

MailFest Flyer

Those metalcore band names in full:

  • Crush The Saboteurs
  • What An Insult To Christians
  • Boris Fever
  • Death Knell For Common Sense
  • Living Beyond Our Means
  • Apologists For Terror
  • Whatever Happened To Austerity
  • Enemies Of The People
  • Three Lethal Questions
  • House Of The Unelected Wreckers


If you’re thinking of starting a bad metalcore band and are in need of a name, these are available for £6 each.

Posted on March 15th 2019, 12:00pm
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