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Ozzy Osbourne Is A Mutant, According To DNA Research

Don’t act surprised.

If someone announced that Ozzy Osbourne was some sort of genetic mutant, would the world be all that shocked? Probably not, but it’d still be funny. Which is why it’s amazing that a genetic researcher discovered that the Black Sabbath frontman is in fact a genetic mutant while trying to determine how the singer has stayed alive all these years.

As reported in The New York Post, Bill Sullivan, a professor at the Indiana University School Of Medicine, has written a new book called Pleased to Meet Me: Genes, Germs and the Curious Forces that Make Us Who We Are. In it, he discusses a 2010 study by a Massachusetts-based research firm named Knome, who studied on a sample of Ozzy’s DNA to determine how he managed to not die from a lifetime of insane drug and alcohol use. His discovery? Ozzy, in scientific terms, ain’t right.

Ozzy is indeed a genetic mutant,” writes Sullivan. The author goes on to describe how genetics make up so much of our emotional and physical attributes, including, in the Prince Of Darkness’ case, a hereditary tendency towards addiction and drug tolerance. “After all these years of thinking we were free agents, we’ve come to realize that most, if not all, of our behavior is not of our own volition…However magical they may feel to you, your emotions are purely biological in origin.”

Pleased To Meet Me Book Cover

To be fair, while none of the rest of the world is surprised by this news, Ozzy is definitely a little shocked by his ability to survive the heavy metal lifestyle all this time. While recently speaking to Kerrang!, the metal forefather said, “I remember talking to Lemmy after his 70th birthday and he said, ‘Fucking hell, at least I made 70!’ And then he died within days. You never know what lies ahead, do you?”

Bill Sullivan’s book, Pleased To Meet Me, is available for purchase from Amazon.

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Posted on August 13th 2019, 8:27pm
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