Happy Holidays From Black Metal Santa

Corpsepaint the halls.

It’s that time of year again — the glittering lights, the smell of woodsmoke and pine, the sound of bells jingling up and down the street. It’s the holiday season once again, a time for cheer, kindness, and good will toward men.

Well, not for Black Metal Santa. Black Metal Santa has no time for your false-ass peace on earth. He is the harbinger of Yuletide malaise, the mirror in which your Christmas spirit can see just what a pile of bullshit it actually is. When your deadbeat dad gets drunk and forgets to buy you a present, when the tree you chopped down has a dead baby bird in the branches, when you get freezing rain instead of snow on Christmas Eve — he is with you.

In truth, we commissioned Black Metal Santa from Jordan Olds and Drew Kaufman, the comedic geniuses behind Two Minutes To Late Night, the heavy metal talk show that films at legendary Brooklyn venue Saint Vitus Bar. Featuring interviews, guest performances, live reports from Danzig’s house, and Mutoid Man as the house band, the show is about as much fun as you can have while still feeling KVLT AZ FVKK. Keep your eyes peeled for host Gwarsenio Hall in full corpse paint making a guest-appearance in this video.

Anyway, enjoy Black Metal Santa, and from all of us at Kerrang!, happy holidays and fuck off.

Posted on December 19th 2018, 6:00p.m.
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