Similar to The Mansplainer, yet worse. He is, like, so sorry you have to put up with so many assholes objectifying you at this show. Oh, you didn’t realize you were being objectified? Don’t worry, he’s here to let you know that everyone there just wants to get in your pants — except him! Good news, though: He’ll protect you by ensuring no one else can talk to you for the whole night...and never letting you speak for yourself.
Signature moves: Cutting you off, talking over you, being unable to read your subtle eye-rolls, telling you stories that begin with, “Well, as a feminist, I…”
Best defense: Employ the use of thinly-veiled sarcasm. “Wow, I had no idea you knew so much about my experience in the world! Did you read that on Tumblr?”