8 Times Rock Stars Failed At Dating
Valentine’s Day is the time for loving, sharing, spending too much on chocolates and (of course) going on dates. Sometimes dates are a thing of joy, when you just click with that special someone, but sometimes you end up pooing everywhere and crying (we’re looking at you Alex Gaskarth).
We talked to eight different rock stars to talk about their romantic disasters, to help you avoid copying their embarrassment and know that your love life isn’t as awkward as theirs.
Andy Biersack, Black Veil Brides/Andy Black
“I got set up with this girl, and the first thing she did when we met was take out the book that was in her purse, which as Jesus Is More Than A Carpenter. It wasn’t so much the content of the book, but that she started the date with it. Anyway, we went to see V For Vendetta, and I was really enjoying it, but about halfway through she started crying quite violently. She then yelled at me for taking her to a movie that offended her morals and stormed out. I stayed, because I loved the movie. I saw her a couple of years after and it was very awkward. It was kinda like, ‘Hey, how you doing? Remember when you started going crazy and nearly ruined a great movie?’”
Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit
“I took a girl to this place and she ordered absinthe. She went to the bathroom and she didn’t come out for 20 minutes, and a girl came out saying, ‘There’s a girl lying face down in vomit!’ I was freaking out, but she was just faking it! She said, ‘I was just seeing if you were a gentleman.’”
Alex Gaskarth, All Time Low/Simple Creatures
“I had diarrhoea at someone’s house once. I was in high school and hanging out with this girl. I went to her house and we were sitting watching TV and I was like, ‘This is not going to be good.’ I didn’t know her that well, so it was awkward. ‘Why are you in the bathroom for 10 minutes, crying?’ I left pretty promptly after that – I don’t think we hung out again.”
Lzzy Hale, Halestorm
“I was 17 years and I was under the impression we were going to a restaurant, but instead he took me to his grandmother’s house! We go in and she’s not there, and he proceeds to raid the contents of her liquor cabinet…”
“I’d briefly met this super-gorgeous chick, and we messaged a little online and ended up meeting in Warsaw. It took me maybe two minutes to realise I’d made a bad decision. There wasn’t anything wrong with her, but I needed more than just the physical attraction thing, and intellectually, there was just no connection.”
Dani Winter-Bates, Bury Tomorrow
“On my first day with this girl, we went to ShakeAway to buy milkshakes, and within the first 10 minutes I emptied the entire contents down my front – and half on her, too! I cleaned myself up, bought some more clothes, and then I bought another milkshake and did the exact same thing!”
Craig Owen, Chiodos/D.R.U.G.S.
“When I was in my ignorant, young, ‘I rule the world’ phase, I met up with a girl on a day off from tour who I had been chatting with. We were just on such different planes, and I kept battling to make it more comfortable, for both our sakes, and I got really frustrated because I couldn’t. I was such a jerk that I called her the wrong name on purpose!”
Mike Hranica, The Devil Wears Prada
“In high school, I went on a homecoming date with this girl and for some reason, she wouldn’t even talk to me the entire time. I didn’t realise until after I left her home and got back to my place, but I had spilled tomato sauce from my pizza all over my crotch and it had gone all crusty. I guess, in a way, that kind of sums up a lot of my high school experience; clueless, awkward and shunned.”
Read this next:
Andy Biersack’s They Don’t Need To Understand is the “origin story of one of modern rock’s most exciting young superheroes”.
Watch the video for Salem’s new single Destroy Me, taken from their upcoming self-titled debut EP.