Because it's not just rockstars who wanna come to the best event of the year.
The Kerrang! Awards 2018 is finally upon us and, oh, how we've missed it. Since the first ever ceremony in 1993, the magazine bash has been responsible for hundreds of debilitating hangovers and rivers of vomit.
Sure, a sea of icons have attended during the past 25 years and it would be a waste of internet to name them all. What we're most intrigued by is the celebrities – some legendary, some worth a Google – who've accepted our invitation and got stuck in with the best of them…
SIMON PEGG
At the Hilton Park Lane Hotel in 2002, the star of Spaced spent much of the party talking to people about a film script he was working on; a romantic comedy featuring a cast of zombies and giving bearhugs to anyone called Simon. Sean and The Undead or something. We never found out if his script was green-lit. We wonder what he’s doing now.
DIRTY SANCHEZ
The Welsh pranksters made their presence known at the 2004 Kerrang! Awards. Dan Joyce was seen rubbing horse manure into his own face and later ejected for urinating on former reality TV star Big Brother 3's Alex Sibley. You know the one, the lad who ranted at his housemates for pissing in the shower. He must have been absolutely livid. For the Dirty Sanchez star, it was probably Just Another Night Out.
PARIS HILTON
The heiress to the Hilton hotel empire came to the 2003 awards with then-boyfriend, Sum 41's Deryck Whibley and was subjected to an unhealthy amount of paparazzi flashbulbs. Fun fact: Paris is three centimetres taller than Deryck. And when you add a pair of high heels into the equation, you get a clear idea why he used to spike his hair.
TARA PALMER-TOMKINSON
The late socialite was invited to the 1998 ceremony to present Cradle Of Filth with the award for Best Live Band. Frontman Dani Filth took the opportunity to insult her cheap dress and describe her newspaper column as “rubbish”. The utter cads.
KATIE PRICE
Back in the days when Katie Price went by the name of Jordan, she arrived at the 2001 ceremony to present Feeder with an award for Best British Live Act. If memory serves, she mentioned setting fire to her own hair earlier in the day. That’s pretty metal, if you think about it.
KEITH ALLEN
At the 2000 ceremony, we braced themselves as all-round hellraiser Keith Allen arrived. Our memory of that year is certainly hazy but we recall him buying a cab and driving himself to the Reading Festival afterwards. Would’ve been cheaper to get a cab? Or a hotel and a train? Maybe he wanted to get down the front early for The Lapse.
STEVE PEMBERTON
The League Of Gentleman star attended the 2002 ceremony with Jeremy Dyson to present Marilyn Manson with Best Video for Tainted Love. Afterwards, he told the magazine: "We were going to do a joke about putting together a League Of Gentlemen tribute band. Who would play Herr Lipp? Brian Molko, of course.” Obviously. It must have been the Absinthe talking. That disgusting drink was a thing in 2002.
LIONEL BLAIR
The actor, choreographer, tap dancer and star of Give Us A Clue rolled up with his son Matt in 2001 to bring a touch of old school entertainer sparkle to the ceremony, which took place at the Royal Lancaster Hotel in central London. Imagine our surprise when he cheekily gave the finger while sashaying down the red carpet. The scamp.
BRITT EKLAND
The Kerrang! Awards in 2000 can be best described as eventful. Taking place at the Hammersmith Palais in west London, Slipknot were the big winners of the evening, emerging victorious in three categories: Best International Live Act, Best Band In The World and Best Single for Wait And Bleed. They also kept themselves warm in the air-conditioned room by setting fire to their table and destroying several chairs. The tables were heaving with all the alcohol and pieces of fruit, as a courtesy gesture to our collective livers. Not all of the fruit was consumed and some of it was carelessly dropped on the floor and thrown towards the direction of the stage. Britt Ekland – notable for her appearances in Get Carter, The Man With The Golden Gun and The Wicker Man – was on hand to present the Hall Of Fame award to Marilyn Manson, but slipped on a piece of watermelon on her way to the stage, breaking her ankle and wrist. Nevertheless, she was carried onto the stage and presented the award to the God Of Fuck and spent the rest of the evening in Charing Cross Hospital. “I don't think anybody quite realised or believed how much pain she was in,” said her agent afterwards. It made our hangovers the next day pale into comparison. But only just.
RALF LITTLE
The Royle Family star arrived at the Hammersmith Palais ceremony in 2000 with TV presenter Lisa Rogers. He turned up looking like a sacked bassist from a struggling British nu metal band, and that’s about it.
ZOE BALL
’90s ladette Zoe Ball attended the 1997 awards in a dress made of lightning. It could have been a print, though. Still, top marks for making an effort. Unlike Ralf. What was he thinking?
DAVID SOUL
The actor and singer – best known for his role as Detective Kenneth Hutchinson in Starsky & Hutch – attended our 1999 bash. He presented Stereophonics with Best Album for Performance And Cocktails. Late drummer Stuart Cable and frontman Kelly Jones treated the shit-hammered crowd to a line from the actor’s 1977 hit Silver Lady, much to his – and our – delight. Banger.
‘KATE'
In 2007, Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz arrived at the Awards ceremony with his future ex-wife Ashlee Simpson. Big deal, you might say. It’s not out of the ordinary for a K! cover star to attend our bash with a guest. The thing is, the bassist brought a second guest, a small monkey who sat on his shoulders. The worst thing about this is that his simian pal – known only as Kate – didn’t even have a ticket to get in, simply screeching, “I’m with the fucking band, mate.” But in monkey.
Words: Simon Young
Brace yourselves for the Kerrang! Awards, which are happening this Thursday! Keep your eyes peeled to Kerrang.com, as well as Kerrang!'s socials, for all the excitement from the night.
Trust us when we say it's going to be the greatest K! Awards yet…
