In 25 years, there have only been a couple of times when Josh Middleton has wondered if this was for him anymore.
One such moment came just over a year ago. He and Sylosis had arrived in America last October to begin a tour with Fit For An Autopsy. Three weeks or so there, and they’d be back to hit the road with Malevolence on a co-headlining run, taking in the 2,300-capacity O2 Forum Kentish Town in London. A few months later, they were down to head back across the pond to join Bullet For My Valentine and Trivium on the U.S. leg of The Poisoned Ascendancy Tour. If 16-year-old Josh could see himself now, he’d presumably have wondered where did it all go so right.
This Josh, however, was close to phoning his manager and asking them to book him an early flight home before things had even got going. Having come down with something nasty on the way over, the already less-than-100-per-cent frontman found himself lying in his bunk as their bandwagon bumped along America’s less-than-100-per-cent roads, absolutely convinced that fate was coming around the next bend.
You can see his point. The last time the Reading metallers had been on U.S. soil, the RV they were touring in was involved in a crash where, all things considered, having to cancel the rest of the gigs and go home with a load of bills for the hospital and one damaged vehicle was one of the better possible outcomes. Such happy memories came flooding back this time around as Josh, sick as a dog and on the wrong side of the world from his wife and two daughters, lay in his bunk and felt the road beneath the tyres.
“I was having anxiety attacks instantly. I was convinced we were going to crash,” he says today. “I was having extreme PTSD from the crash in 2013. I was grabbing onto the walls, freaking out. I had the flu, I was missing my daughters. I just thought, ‘What if I die when I'm here, when I should just be at home for them?’”
Even when he weighed up the costs, both financial and in terms of the possibility that their management would drop them, and other bands would think they were unreliable, the frontman calmly reasoned, “Well, I think that's just gonna have to be what it is.”