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"I Think We Are Alien. Something Manipulated Our DNA": 13 Questions With Wednesday 13

Wednesday 13 talks horror villains, life on other planets and being dead for a day in our 13 Questions

"I Think We Are Alien. Something Manipulated Our DNA": 13 Questions With Wednesday 13
Words:
Paul Travers
Photo:
Jeremy Saffer

Who better to run the gauntlet of our new 13 Questions series than Wednesday 13? The former Murderdolls frontman's eponymous shock-rock project is releasing its eighth studio album this month, so we pulled Wednesday up for an inquisition. So strap in as he takes us from aliens and supernatural entities to bar-fights in Wales…

Why should people listen to your new album?
“Why not? If you like horror films and rock music smashed together, this is the best of both worlds. I’ve always written in a cinematic kind of way and this is pure entertainment. There’s no shoe-gazing with us. Listen to it if you want to be cool and if you don’t want to be cool – go and listen to something else.”

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
“Rambo or Chuck Norris! I’m super-excited about the new Rambo movie coming out, which I’ll hopefully be seeing while I’m in the UK. That was what I wanted to be until I discovered Alice Cooper and Twisted Sister and stuff like that. Then I went, ‘Now I want to dress like a real ugly woman and yell into a microphone’.”

If you were a horror movie villain, what would your weapon of choice be?
“Sleep paralysis torture would be my horror theme. Over my time on this planet I’ve been plagued with nightmares and I have night terrors, which are a whole different level. You can’t move, you can’t even scream but you can see everything that’s happening. I want to be the ugly individual in the horror movie who brings all that to bear.”

Is there life on other planets?
“Yes and for anyone to think we’re the only intelligent beings in the galaxy is moronic. I think we are alien. Something manipulated our DNA. I don’t think we’re a natural species, I think we were created and manipulated for whatever reason. Absolutely there’s life on other planets and there’s been intelligent life on this planet before us.”

What would you like it to say on your gravestone?
“Well to quote the great Andrew Dice Clay I’d have, ‘I was over there… and now I’m over here’. And don’t lay flowers on my grave while we’re on the subject. No-one ever bought me flowers when I was alive so don’t do it when I die. Drape a bra from it, like when someone throws one onstage and you hang it on the headstock of your guitar.”

What is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten?
“Probably my own vomit. I was bullied in middle school and this one time I needed to throw up. I knew if I was sick in class they’d make fun of me and beat me up after class, so I threw up in my mouth and chewed it back out of fear. Let’s move on…”

Have you ever seen a ghost?
“I have not seen a ghost, even though I did seances and ghost-hunting when I was younger. I do believe there are entities walking all around us, but I now think it’s a realm that no-one should even attempt to go into. The more I’ve read into these things, the more terrifying it’s become to me. There’s a whole world we don’t know about.”

What is the worst injury you’ve ever suffered?
“There have been a few but you’d be amazed how easy it is to knock your front teeth out. I’ve had them knocked out and replaced several times in my life. I’ve chipped them fighting in school, then it was microphones and guitars. I actually knocked my teeth out the first time I played the Whisky A Go Go in Hollywood.

What’s your biggest fear?
“I have a fear reaction to snakes and spiders. They’re just little things but the most profound fear is that we live in a world that is completely opposite to how most people think it is. We put people in power and vote for people who do not care about us at all. I think where we’re heading is the most terrifying thing of all.”

What’s the funniest rumour you’ve heard about yourself?
“I don’t get good rumours like Manson removing his ribs or being the kid from The Wonder Years, or Alice biting the head off a chicken. I did die on the internet for a day, though. When I had my car accident a decade ago it was reported in a couple of places that I might be dead.”

Have you ever been kicked out of a bar?
“I’ve been in some situations I thought only happened in cowboy movies. In Swansea a bar-fight broke out because my band walked in and all the girls in this place wanted to talk to us. This fucking dude about eight times my size charged at me and all hell broke loose. There were bottles breaking, people rolling around. It was insane.”

If your house was on fire, what one thing would you save?
“People and pets... but it would be very difficult to decide amongst all my collectibles. What do you grab – Castle Grayskull or Snake Mountain? Actually they both have handles so I’d grab both of those two.”

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
“I worked in a place that made chalkboards for schools and I lasted about 45 minutes. It was in North Carolina and I’m experienced with country backwoods stuff, but this was another level. Everyone who worked in this chalkboard factory was a shirtless, sweaty dude with a cowboy hat going, ‘Hey boy…’ and giving me that look. I thought, ‘Have I just gone to work or did I get sent to prison?’ I said I was going to the bathroom, crawled out of a window, got in my car and left.”

Wednesday 13's new album Necrophaze is out September 27 via Nuclear Blast.

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